Frustrated!!!

When I read blogs it is for entertainment...maybe sometimes a way of keeping up with a friend's happenenings, but it is not often a way of really connecting with people.  I wonder in anyone writes a blog hoping to really connect.

When I sat down at the computer this morning, the first thing I thought about writing was not a funny anecdote, and certainly not something for my fellow blogger's entertainment.  I thought about writing something honest. 

As of late, I have been dealing with issues from my childhood...quite frankly, confronting some of those demons that many of us have, and also those that are specific to my own upbringing.  Kristen has been an absolute saint!  She has listened to me open up, held me when I cried, and supported my decisions every step of the way.  As I travel along this journey, I find myself facing a lot of pent up anger.  I am truly having feelings that I have never had before.  Initially I thought that because of my love for Kristen, any and all feelings I am capable of were forced to come to the surface...that I could not love with all of my heart if I was shutting off part of my heart.  And this still makes sense...but...I am so frustrated!  The anger that I have held inside for so long in now coming out sideways.  I am not ashamed to say that I need to figure this out...I really want to talk to a professional.  Any suggestions? 

It Could Have Been Worse

   

Obviously, no one likes to get in a car crash, but it is always good to keep things in perspective.  On Friday night Kristen and I had a little fender bender, and although we are both fine, it still makes me feel upset that it even happened.  I thought that this picture was a good way for me to smile about what happened.  They are called an accident for a reason, right?

I can only hope that this is the last accident I will ever be involved in.  Drive safe, my friends!

Cat Burglar In the Making!

The other night upon arriving home, we realized that we had unfortunately locked ourselves out...no house keys on the set of car keys that we happened to grab.  Normally I have my keychain on me even when I am not driving, but when Kristen asked, I knew immediately that we were in trouble. 

After scouting around in the dark, checking both doors just to be sure, and then surveying each and every window, we realized that only our bedroom window on the second floor was possibly open and we didn't have a ladder high enough, or sturdy enough, to make a go of it.  Initially I had mentioned trying to climb through the first floor bathroom window, but Kristen didn't think I could quite fit, so we scratched that.  Then, after seeing no other options, I decided to give it a go.  I grabbed the ladder that we had near the garage, climbed up to the top step, pried off the screen with a key (how ironic is that?) and tried the window.  It was OPEN.  I couldn't believe it!  I took off my sweatshirt and my sweater and stood perched on the ladder in a tight-fitting t-shirt and jeans.  "Please be careful," I was told from the ground below.

I first tried to get my legs in, thinking that it would be easier to scrape through and land on my feet, but it was nearly impossible to get my second leg in the window without a disasterous effect, so I opted for the head-first position.  I slid through easily, suddenly feeling quite good about all of those workouts at the gym, and I found myself balancing with one hand on the back of the toilet, the other on the vanity, and my legs still out the window.  Kristen and I were both laughing at this point and I yelled to her, "Aren't you going to take a picture?"  She tried, but could not get the flash to work on her phone, so we have no official documentation of the event.  After waiting for a minute or so for her to try to get the picture I told her I was going for it, and I managed to get my right leg through the opening and onto the floor without losing my balance.  I quickly leaned a bit further and got my left foot down as well.

I walked through the kitchen and opened the front door, feeling quite proud of myself.  I think Kristen was impressed, but I wanted her to admit that I was in fact thin enough to fit through that little window!  I told her it was just my ninja skills finally paying off!



Just Chillin'

So this morning I was thinking that I should blog again and the only thing that I could focus on was the fact that I am freezing.  Since we got back from our trip Kristen and I have been waiting to have propane delivered and so the past few days have consisted of a flurry of space heaters shuffled from room to room.  Today we should have heat and it really couldn't be coming at a better time...my toes are freezing, my fingers are numb, and I have just started sneezing as well.

YES

This whole ordeal got me thinking about the Renaissance.  I have always thought that it would have been so amazing to have lived through this richly diverse time in human culture.  The humanist movement began, music was changing, science was starting to really challenge common thought, and of course, art was flourishing. 

But this morning, suddenly, all I could think about were those drafty castles!  How did these people survive without modern technology?  I can only imagine how I would have reacted to waking up morning after morning to a cold chamber since the fire had burned out four hours earlier.  This little princess would not have gotten out of bed.  Regardless of the fine artwork to be seen, or the fantastic literature to be read, I think I would have slept through it all.

I have been cold for three days now and I can barely force myself to get out from under the covers to get into the shower or the hot tub.  Boy am I spoiled!

Wedding Whirlwind

So, I decided to blog this morning and I was so surprised to see that it has been since July that I have managed to write.  Shame on me!  Anyway, I have determined that it must be the planning of the wedding that got in the way of my morning blog...or painting...or working out...or something.  At any rate, I thought I should let everyone know (all four or five of you that actually read this) that Kristen and I had an absolutely wonderful trip.

We started out in San Francisco and although there was so much to do and see here, we were both so happy to just be on our own, we really spent most of our time driving around and checking things out via the jeep we rented.  We saw Castro, Lombard Street, Alcatraz, and of course lots of trolley cars.  Although we avoided most of the tourist attractions, we did walk the Golden Gate Bridge, which is really impressive.  I read that there are over 80,000 miles of wire in just the two main cables that support the bridge, and that it took over six months to spin them!  CRAZY!  Each tower has over 600,000 rivets.

For those of you who have not visited Yosemite, I highly recommend getting there.  I have been blessed to have traveled as much as I have, but honestly, there have been few places that I have seen that could compare to such splendor.  Beautiful skies, rugged moutains and cliffs, enormous trees, and soft meadows all come together in one harmonious picture.  Simply stunning.  I told Kristen that only a backdrop so spectacular could compare to the feelings I have for her.

We finished up our trip in Guerneville, a small city that we were told is the gayest around (unknown to us before arriving).  We took small day trips from here, exploring the coast and traveling into Napa Valley.  Just to our west was a very small coastal town called Jenner, and here there were the most amazing rock formations sticking out of the Pacific.  Both Kristen and I were amazed that we had never heard of this place before, or seen pictures.  Breathtaking.  In Napa we has some terrific wine, needless to say I'm sure, but as you may have seen on Facebook, we found some scrumptious cupcakes there.  Sift is the name of the bakery and snickerdoodle was our favorite.  We drove all the way back to Napa (over an hour on winding roads) to get a second one.  Right on Main Street in Guerneville we had a couple of fun nights at the Rainbow Cattle Co, a gay bar with lots of very nice people.

All in all, this was a superb trip.  The the sights were amazing, the weather was uncommonly warm (in the 90's almost every day), and I got to commit my life to my beautiful wife.  Not bad.